Ocean Marketing/Paul Christoforo and Penny Arcade: Why Customer Service Matters on the "real internet."

It has been a while since I've had a bona fide gaming industry scandal to write about, but man are they interesting. I think that these sorts of stories hit the same spots in the brain that are activated when a high school girl hears the newest gossip or when a bit of drama hits guildchat in WoW. I am, of course, talking about Paul Christoforo of Ocean Marketing, a supposed SEO/Internet Marketing "Professional" who decided to be rude and condescending to a customer over a legitimate consumer complaint, and then Penny Arcade got involved... and things got weird. The entire text of the exchange can be found here, but I'll summarize as this frenzy has exploded over Reddit, Twitter and now even 4chan has gotten into the act, gleefully trying to destroy someone (and for once, it is a person who appears to really, really deserve it.

This all started with a few questions about a third-party controller, the Avenger, purchased in November, advertised as shipping in early December and a customer's questions about a shipment that was clearly going to miss a target for Christmas. These things happen, and Dave, the customer wanted an update, and noticed that new orders were eligible for a $10 off coupon and expressed his frustration that he wouldn't get the controller when he needed it, so he'd be best off canceling his order and placing a new one to save the ten bucks. This is a clear expression of a customer with a legit complaint that anyone who has been in any sort of sales knows is best handled with an apology and a $10 credit (toward a future order, if that ten dollars is really that important to you.) Instead, Paul Christoforo decided to respond in a condescending fashion, threatening to cancel the entire order of anyone who tried to save $10 stating "you can buy it at retail somewhere else." And in closing, he calls Dave "Dan."

This is where things get heated. Dave explains, using strong language (but no profanity) why this response to a customer is unacceptable, affirms that the product is so good that he intends to buy it anyway, but calls out Ocean Marketing on several failures to provide a minimal level of service. To be fair, he ends this e-mail with a bit of a snarky comment that could be construed as a personal attack. Mr. Christoforo then proves that he has not yet hit rock bottom in terms of a complete lack of business acumen or professionalism, and fires back. He starts name dropping, calling names and in general pulling the "do you know who I am, you little nobody?" routine. In this attack on both a customer and spelling/grammar, we have gems like "Son Im 38 I wwebsite as on the internet when you were a sperm in your daddys balls and before it was the internet" and "You just got told bitch ... welcome to the real internet." He closes by bragging about all the trade shows he'll be at, including PAX East.

This last bit is where thing take a turn for the surreal. The e-mail exchange is forwarded to Mike Krahulik, of Penny Arcade and co-owner of the PAX shows. Enraged, Mike steps in and calmly states that if this is how customers are treated, Ocean Marketing and Paul Christoforo will no longer be welcome at those shows. In a stunning display of ignorance, Paul responds with "I guarantee I can get a booth if I want one money buys a lot and connections go even further" and "who are you again?" The game is on. Penny Arcade is one of the most influential websites in all of video gamins, and Mike flexes a little bit to someone who clearly doesn't know who he is talking to. Paul Christoforo makes this clear when he starts throwing insults and telling someone with a LOT more pull than he has to "watch the way you talk to people" because "it's a small industry and everyone knows everyone," not appreciating the irony in his statements. He follows up with more name dropping, including the Mayor of Boston, Sean Buckley at Engadget and Scott Lowe at IGN. For a finishing touch, he insults and threatens the Penny Arcade site, saying that he'll put his "125 employees" on a smear campaign, insisting that Mike doesn't know who he is messing with.

The exchange is put up on Penny Arcade, which in his arrogance and ignorance Mr. Christoforo believes is a good thing, free publicity... and it goes viral within hours. Reddit, Kotaku, IGN and other sites all go bonkers at this little man with the mind-blowing ego and instantly he is the most hated man of the moment for many, many gamers worldwide. On Twitter, Scott Lowe takes issue with his name being dropped in support of this insufferable twit, and says so, calling him "completely unprofessional" given their past working relationship. Staying the course, Paul responds by calling Scott a "douchebag" and claiming that "You were the unprofessional one" in the same tweet, still oblivious to the concept of irony. Kevin Kelly of G4TV stands by Scott Lowe in his assessment, and the manufacturers of the Avenger controller become aware of what their "professional" marketing guy is doing to their brand online. At the moment (as of 11:30 AM, 12/27) Frank Shephard tweeted an apology to any customer treated poorly and said that there is no official statement yet, but "more to come soon."

Aside from the prurient entertainment factor of online drama, what does all this tell us about online marketing and the gaming industry? If you mess with an online institution over something petty, asking them "Do you know who I am?" soon, everyone will know who you are, and that isn't a good thing. Bad publicity is no longer the same as "good publicity," something I'm sure Mr. Christoforo will learn, much to his dismay. We also can see how careers and names can be ruined over something that could have been fixed with a ten dollar coupon. In general, as people become more connected, it is better to be decent and forthright with people, as word really does get around, and you DO have to be careful who you talk to and how. That's what we on the "real internet" call karma, bitch.

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Blog Gadgets

Nintendo's Wii U, Keynote address and Nintendo Innovations/Gimmicks Throughout the Years.

This week marks one of the “big deal” annual events for any video gamer. The Electronic Entertainment Exposition, or E3, which has become the big tradeshow for the video game industry. I was all rip-rarin' to go and report on the events at this year's show and then I looked around and saw what virtually every blogger who's ever played a video game is doing. So, expect more video-game posts this week, but I'll try to put my own spin on them. Today was the Nintendo keynote address, and yeah, I want to at least mention the new console they debuted, but I'm not going to parrot the same information that several hundred other blogs put up a few hours ago, I want to go in a different direction. Nintendo has had its successes and failures with hardware innovation, I want to talk about the “gimmick” behind the Wii U (Yep, that's what they named the new system,) and revisit the gimmicks Nintendo has introduced in the past, what worked... and what didn't.

In about 2 years, all us video gamers will either be enthralled by, or mocking this thing.

The biggest new feature for Nintendo's Wii U is the controller, a tablet-style thing that looks like an overgrown iPhone with controller buttons on the side, and a screen that splits the difference between smartphone screens and, say, an iPad. The screen on the controller will interact with the TV screen to use techniques used in Augmented Reality gaming, “Zoom in” features, maybe inventory/information screens for RPGs like Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles for Gamecube, which required a Gameboy Advance for each player. The innovative controller is being paired with strong system specs and at-launch third-party support to try to attract back the “hardcore gamers” who didn't care for the family-friendly Wii. I applaud this effort, and if they really can retain the audience they attracted with the Wii and get the love of the traditional video gamer back, they may win the next-generation console wars before anyone else fires a shot.

The thing about Nintendo's hardware gimmicks is that their success is tied to how well supported they are by software, and how much using them makes gameplay more fun. We've seen games for the Nintendo DS handheld that tacked on support for the secondary touch screen “because it was there,” same deal with the motion control of the Wii. It doesn't matter how cool a technology is for a game console if there aren't any games that support it, or worse, if most of the games that support it do so in an awkward, clunky way that actually detracts from playing a game. Here's Nintendo's list of hits and misses:

Nintendo Entertainment System Era:

This is where it all began for most of us, Nintendo's first mass-market console and the one that put them on the map. Nintendo had 2 unusual peripherals at launch, one more near the end of the system's life-cycle, for a score by my count of one incredible hit, and two misses.

Convinced a generation to buy the "futuristic console that is nothing like Atari,"
 then ignored robots and sold us Mario.

The Light Zapper (HIT): The original home console light gun. Shooting games with a toy gun you fire at the screen, and things on-screen die. Even without a huge number of games supporting this, the ones that used it were great, and needed it to play.

R.O.B., the Robotic Operating Buddy (MISS): Ah, R.O.B. No one knew what to do with you. This accessory looked cool, but no one really developed games that used him beyond Gyromite and Stack-Up, but his inclusion allowed Nintendo to show how different they were from, say, Atari, which was responsible for the first great video game crash only a few years earlier.

The Power Glove (MISS): Expensive, cool looking, utterly extraneous. A programmable glove controller that was imprecise and once again, only got 2 games that supported it: Super Glove Ball and Bad Street Brawler. Aside from appearing in the 1989 film The Wizard, with Fred Savage, this was a dud.

Nintendo 64 Era:

This is where someone might be thinking, “Hey, Doc... you skipped a generation!” Well, so did Nintendo. Super NES accessories were few and far between, there was a version of the Zapper, but Nintendo was busy at the time innovating with handhelds (more on that later.) They got back to being kooky with their main console with the N64, and innovations were centered on the unusual controller.

For a controller that had so many important features, it really was kind of terrible.

N64 Controller (Mixed Bag): This weird looking three grip controller popularized analog sticks and behind the controller triggers, but its unwieldy shape and many unnecessary buttons put it at the top spot on a lot of peoples “Worst Controller” lists.

The Controller Pak (MISS): A memory pak that plugged into the controller. One big problem. Almost no cartridges used it in favor of battery pak saving on the cartridge itself.

Rumble Pak (HIT): Another controller plug-in. Force-feedback vibration, now standard, though built-in to virtually every modern controller.

Handhelds and Miscellany:

Nintendo practically invented handheld video games, from the days of Game-N-Watch, the original Gameboy, and subsequent systems, they've been virtually without serious competition in this area.

Tell me this doesn't look like something Darth Vader might use to discern the location of the
Rebel Base from captured prisoners.

Nintendo Virtual Boy (MISS): Yikes, people still call Nintendo out for this one. Heavy, it strapped to your head, hurt people's eyes because the graphics were greyscale inexplicably done in RED, and the games weren't even good. The only upside... if you still have one that works, it is worth a bundle.

Nintendo DS (HIT): This was mocked on announcement, but a year after launch, the DS critics went mostly silent. Two screens, stylus/touchscreen gameplay... this little handheld broke new ground, and some of what it did first is found in all smartphone mobile gaming.

Nintendo 3DS (Jury Still Out, I'm gonna call it Probable MISS): Another “gimmick” handheld, the cool thing being that it can do 3D without glasses. Problem is, it makes a lot of people sick/hurts their eyes after playing for more than a few minutes, and 3D is a crazy battery drain. You can turn it off and keep playing, but if that's true, what's the point of the system?

They can't all be hits, but Nintendo keeps swinging for the fences, and knocks a few out  of the park.

The best remaining modern example of Nintendo's innovating is, of course, the Wii, as the Gamecube Era didn't really see anything crazy aside from a cord allowing the Gameboy Advance to be hooked in to a controller port. Wii's motion controller and its phenomenal worldwide success (and subsequent imitation by both Sony and Microsoft) is a well-documented phenomenon, that brings us up to date. The only question that remains... will Wii U be another Wii-style Hit, or will it be an expensive and unnecessary gimmick like the Virtual Boy? What do you think?

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