A Momentary Lapse, with The Unemployed Geek.... and Joel, another unemployed geek.

Good day to you all, my name is Joel.... I'm a distant cousin of Doc Stout, the proud author of 'What's Next? The Unemployed Geek'. I'm also a long time friend of his and former roomate.... I'm a fellow blogger and you can find my blog at: http://amomentarylapsewithjoel.blogspot.com/ . I've been writing it for just over a year and it's basically a blog on movies, music and life.... but mostly movies. It's a labor of love and something that I've attempted several times over the years, but with no success. Anyway, with that out of the way.... I'm also unemployed and a geek as well. I probably fall in a different category of geekdom, but that makes me no less of a geek. I'm proud of that label and relish in all its splendor and love to converse with others who are like-minded. That brings me up to this point where I was asked to be a guest blogger on this site. I was honored that I was asked and was happy to oblige. If I can direct people this way and vice versa, all the better. God knows why I was asked, but I'll do my best to try and be entertaining or somewhat helpful with some words of wisdom.


I'm currently 36 years old and have spent the majority of my life trying to find out where I fit in as far as the workforce was concerned. I started working as a parking lot cleaner when I was 12. I was paid under the table and did that until I could start legally working at age 14. Since then, I've worked steadily at all kinds of jobs and for several years at multiple jobs at the same time. The last 5 years of my life were spent working in a call center and I was damn good at it. Sadly, it slowly began to eat away at my sanity and after two nervous breakdowns and two trips to the mental hospital, my work started to slip. After about a year of trying to regain myself and retain my job (god knows why?), they gave me an ultimatum, “Improve in a month or we'll be seperating you from the company.” A month passed and I didn't improve, so I was let go. Deep down, I think I sabotaged myself on purpose. However, I didn't do it knowing that's what I was doing.... it was all under my brains radar. Right before this all went down, I started going back to school. It was suggested to me that I try and find something that I love and to pursue it. That's exactly what I did. Here I am now in school, jobless, but happy. I've started on my path towards a degree in Medical Assisting and I couldn't be happier. I was never a good student back in the day, but now I'm on the Dean's List, making straight A's and am getting high praise from my superiors on a weekly basis. I knew that I wanted to help people, and that's probably why I kept ending up in customer service, but I was never really in a position to truly help people.... now I am. I'm happy with my choices for the first time in my life. Granted, it may not be the right thing for everyone to go back to school for something.... however, I think that life is too damn short to do something you hate. I used to say, “I do what I have to do, to do what I want to do.” That was a line of crap. It was true in some ways, but in hindsight it wasn't the right thing to do. We spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week at our jobs. It basically fills the majority of our day and keeps us away from the ones we love and the things we love. I think if we're going to be married to our jobs like that, we should at least like the person we're married to, right? Well, I'm engaged now to the right career and I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together.


That's some pretty serious stuff there, eh? You know that we all spend a large part of our work days wishing that we could have more time to focus on the things we like to do. Isn't it funny that when we loose our jobs and finally have all of that time, we can't enjoy it. And what's funnier still, is that after an extended period of time we tend to get bored with doing the things we like. We crave that structure and 'big brother' environment that a job provides. I don't know why that is? I guess it has something to do with how we were raised. In school, things are hardcore.... we're told what to do and when to do it.... and in Catholic school it's even worse. That's probably why so many guys have eternal hard-on's for those damn uniforms. That makes me wonder why calling customer service doesn't get me horny? “Press 1 for an erection. Press 2 for a 'happy ending.' Press 3 for a spanking from the head of Human Resources.” If that was the case, I would call a whole helluva a lot more. Instead, I dread having to dial that 800 number because I know what it's like on the other end and it makes me flaccid just thinking about it. Thank goodness the internet has giving us a faceless way to get help instead of calling someone who's tied to a chair in a cubicle and is paid to make their company look good. Not too mention that there's porn to pass the time in case we get put on hold, luckily that never happens online. (But it's never a bad time to look at porn.... or 'Keyboard Cat'.... just don't masturbate to 'Keyboard Cat' or at least don't tell anyone about it.)


Right now you're asking yourself, “What do I do if I have a job I hate or have no job or can't afford to go back to school?” Well, I've been in those situations and something that I've learned is that I may not be able to find one job that I like that pays enough to cover the bills, but I have been able to find more than one job that I love and together they pay the rent. You may have to work out the scheduling with both employers, but in the end you'll be much better off. Perhaps one of the part time jobs will lead to a full time one and then you'll be all set. In the meantime, you'll be doing things that you love and getting paid. However, if you can't find those mythical jobs, you can always be your own boss. Granted, 'hooking' only pays well if you don't have a pimp taking most of your money and not getting you hooked on smack is also a good thing. However, the job has a couple of benefits.... it's nice because you can work lying down and the dental plan is fantastic. You can also open your own business. It helps to have a good idea that will get your business off the ground and it also helps if you don't start it up with someone who's mentally unstable. Trust me on that point. (note to self: re-usable condoms did not go over well in test marketing.... perhaps using bleach as the cleaning agent was not the best idea I've ever had. It burns.)


So what's next? Now we've all got decisions to make. Where do we want to go from here? I can't make that decision for you, but I think we all have to make our own ways. We all want different things in life, we all have different interests, we all have different expertise. Life has something in store for everyone. I know someone who's job it is to subtitle porn for god's sake! There is LITERALLY something for everyone out there, you just have to look a little and use some of your connections to find your way. In the meantime, relish the bonus time you have while you're out of work. Spend a certain percentage of your day looking for work and in the downtime pursue your passions. Write the great American novel, create the next 'Call of Duty', paint the new millennium's version of the Mona Lisa, direct a movie parody of 'The Grapes of Wrath'.... start your own blog. The sky's the limit! You have all the extra time that most of us dream about while we're strapped to our office chairs, take advantage of it. And on that note, I'm off to finish a painting, write an entry in my blog, study for school, look for work and take a nap. I'm not going to waste my time dwelling on the things I can't change, but rather focus on the things I can. Good day and good health.

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